After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability to turn into a dinosaur. At first horrified by this new power, a prostitute convinces him to fight crime. And ninjas.

The perfect movie DOES exist! Doug and Carol travel to the port city of Milan, where they have to solve a series of murders committed by a masked slasher at an Italian Fertility Festival. And Soviet Spies. INTERPOL’s there, too.

1880s Australia: A psychic, lesbian schoolteacher teams up with the world's greatest adventurer to find her missing girlfriend and to defeat Dracula and his Golden Army of the Undead.